


Inevitable

by glitterybluemagic



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: But mostly angst, M/M, Other, Rafe's POV, i mean some domestic fluff i guess, this is angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 19:13:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12824190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterybluemagic/pseuds/glitterybluemagic
Summary: Some days were harder than others. The older he got, the harder it was to ignore the inevitable truth. It didn’t matter if he was the Head of the New York Institute or if he was one of his generation’s best soldier or even if he was the husband to the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He was still mortal and vulnerable and some point he would meet his end. Alexander Lightwood-Bane would one day leave his sons, husband, siblings and friends. He would die.





	Inevitable

Some days were harder than others. The older he got, the harder it was to ignore the inevitable truth. It didn’t matter if he was the Head of the New York Institute or if he was one of his generation’s best soldier or even if he was the husband to the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He was still mortal and vulnerable and some point he would meet his end. Alexander Lightwood-Bane would one day leave his sons, husband, siblings and friends. He would die.

It was a truth his heart just could never fully accept. An ache he feels when he wakes up. He’d stare up at the ceiling as weariness settled over his bones. 

 

Its days like this where he would cherish the laughter he hears from the kitchen. He would hide behind a wall and watch as his Dad and Papa danced around each other while they worked to prepare breakfast. He’d smile when they shared a kiss right before announcing breakfast, like they always did. As he made his way to the table, he took note of bright the smiles they directed at him and then at Max who was still struggling to keep his eyes open. He wondered if the light in his Papa’s eyes would dim when the love of his life was no longer there by his side. 

Rafe would be quieter on days like this. He’d watch his Dad tie Max’s shoelaces and wondered if he’d be around long enough before Max to finally learned how to do it on his own. When he and Alec part ways with Magnus and Max to head to the institute, he’d think about the day when he’d be walking there alone. They rarely talked on the way there, both preferring to bask in the calm and ready themselves for the day ahead. He’d wonder if the silence would be too deafening when he could no longer feel the presence of his father walking alongside him.

During his breaks between training sessions, he’d wander around the institute, occasionally catching a glimpse of his Dad with his siblings or friends. He’d watch his father roll his eyes at something Jace said as the pair prepared for a mission. He’d see his face crumple up in disgust while watching Izzy work on a body in the lab. When Luke came by the institute he’d listen in on the jokes they shared. All of them were just simple observations he made but he couldn’t help but wonder how different the institute would be without his Dad around. Would Jace return from his missions more worn down and bruised? Would Izzy ever look down at a corpse and see Alec instead? Would Luke feel as welcomed to drop by? 

He knows he should say something. Voice out his worries to someone, maybe even to Alec himself. He knew that it was no use pondering over what the future might hold. He was wasting precious time just staring from afar and being distant when he could fill his every waking moment with memories to reminisce on later. But there was a hollowness in his chest that couldn’t be filled. He was afraid that if he were to say a single word, the tears would never stop flowing. It was ironic, feeling so empty and overwhelmed at the same time. 

 

When they returned home in the evening, all he wanted to do was to sleep away the emotions and be done with the day. He sat down on his bed taking in deep breaths, willing his mind to silence, when he felt a dip beside him. 

“Your father made a promise the day you and Max came into our lives,” Magnus started.

“He promised to never stop fighting to come home. To come back to us,” he whispered, glamour falling to show tears filling up his cat eyes.

“Rafe whatever’s going to happen, it’s out of our hands. I’m as terrified as you are to lose him one day, but all we can do is trust that he’s going to keep that promise.”

He stared at his Papa, walls finally caving in. He felt the tears start flowing as Magnus pulled him into his arms. Sobs racked through their bodies as they held each other tight.

“And when he breaks that promise? When he’s gone?” he asked.

 

“I’ll be waiting. I’ll always be waiting.”

Rafe pulled away from his Papa to look at Alec, standing in the doorway. He walked toward them, with eyes determined. He pulled his son into his chest, tucking him under his chin, right where he could hear his heartbeat. Rafe watched as he used his other arm to pull Magnus closer to plant a kiss on his forehead. Max shuffled in then. First, wrapping his arms around their Papa, then putting out one of his hands for Rafe to hold.

There was no guarantee what was going to come but he knew from that moment on, that Alec would never truly leave them. For now, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> so it's almost 4 in the morning but i just had to put this up tonight (or this morning?) It's been months since I've written so this is prolly not very well written and im truly truly sorry. Either way i hope the idea is interesting and hopefully i'll get my groove back soon :)
> 
> find me on tumblr @glitterybluemagic


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